Please, oh please, don’t ever bother giving me flowers. Otherwise, you’d find it stored in the trash can in front of our house as soon as I shove you out my door. Or worst, stuck inside your mouth.
May nagbigay sakin ng bulaklak dati, nalungkot ako. Akala ko due date ko na kay San Pedro. I also feel cheap whenever I receive flowers; I feel like I could have received something better, kahit slice of cake, or if you must give flowers talaga, Flowers by Kenzo na lang (perfume).
Here are valid reasons why I hate them:
1. Flowers remind me of Undas.
Undas is the time of the year when Filipinos flock in memorial parks and columbaria to pay their respects to their dead loved ones. Flowers of different sizes, shapes, colours, AND prices are scattered around, waiting to be picked up by families visiting the dead. Ibibigay nila yan kay pumanaw na Angkong Toto or Amah Susan na nalagutan ng hininga several years or decades ago.
You might find it sweet if your soon-to-be-boyfriend (or boyfriend na talaga dahil hindi ka na nakatiis sagutin siya) asks you to tag along with his family to visit his late Uncle Dodong on All Souls Day. Tapos he’d buy two bouquets of flowers from stalls outside Loyola, one for Uncle Dodong and you. Awww. How sweet para sa iyo. Well, sakin hindi. Matagal pa ang deadline ko kay San Pedro noh!
P.S. Amuyin mo yung flowers na bigay sa iyo, di ba kasing amoy nung pinagburulan na kwarto ng namatay na lolo ng lola ng mama mo?
2. Flowers are generic.
As far as I can remember, the Philippine government was only pushing for generic and cheap medicines, not generic gifts. Sa pagkakaalala ko, hindi kasali sa listahan ng approved generic medicines by the Bureau of Food and Drugs at ng Department of Trade and Industry ang chrysanthemum at everlasting.
Parang kapag Valentine’s day, halos lahat na lang ng babae nakakatanggap ng flowers, pare-pareho pa halos na roses. Lahat naman pwedeng tumanggap niyan eh. Kahit saan pwede mo ring hanapin. Parang kung mag-ddate kayo ni girlfriend, bigla mong naalalang nakalimutan mong bumili ng gift, magka-cartwheel ka lang papunta sa Dangwa solve solve ka na. Hindi mo man lang napag-isipan ng mabuti kung anong ibibigay mo. Makakatipid ka pa kapag bagong bagsak sa tindahan yung mga bulaklak. Hay diyos ko, so cheapskate. Paano naging sweet iyon, aber?
If you really want to give flowers, try to be just a little bit unique at least. Why don’t you give your girl a rafflesia flower? It’s rare and it’s the biggest flower in the world according to the Guinness Book of World Records. Warning: amoy bulok na karne lang yan and instead of bees, flies flock around it. At least unique ka. Ngee.
3. A bouquet of flowers is a trash collector’s best friend.
Whatever happened to zero waste management? Right now, those flowers from your beau may seem like the sweetest thing ever, but the next thing you know, nasa basurahan na sila. No matter how much sugar you mix along with water inside the flower vase to preserve your flowers, sooner or later hahagkan na rin niyan ang basurahan. Mas maganda ata yung regalo na kahit simple lang, pwede mong itago ng kahit 50 to 100 years hindi ba?
You might say that you’d still get to keep the flower wrapper and the ribbon. Yeah right, and cheesy. Another addition to the clan of dust collectors inside your room. Kaya andaming ipis at daga sa mga kwarto ng babae eh, andaming abubot.
4. Have you ever heard of the saying: “Don’t pick flowers” ?
One girl’s sweet gift is another girl’s poison. Kung patuloy na pipitasin ang mga bulaklak sa kapaligiran, how can we reduce pollution in our country? Imagine kung patuloy na mababawasan ang mga bulaklak na may kasama pang dahon, ilang halaman kaya ang nakalbo at nangamatay? Kung ngayon, maraming babae ang natutuwa, next time, marami na ang mamatay dahil sa hindi mapigilang polusyon.
Nakakatulong ang mga halamang mabawasan ang polusyon. Maganda pa siguro magbigay ka nalang ng halamang may ugat, pwede pang itanim ulit at alagaan.
And that is all because of the growing population of guys who hate to think hard about what gifts to give their girls. My goodness, please be sensible.
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